A Baby Shower?

So mommy says that we're having a party for me. :)  I'm pretty excited.  I'm very happy that mommy's friends and family convinced her to do this.  Cause mommy was anti-shower at first.  Sure hanging with your favorite friends and fam is cool but not a baby shower....mommy doesn't mind the games so much as the gifts.  First, mommy and daddy want to only buy me exactly what I need and try to make the rest (ok so may that's what mommy wants).  Second, mommy and daddy would like to reuse as much as possible from friends and family.  Let's face it despite all efforts, mommy and daddy already have lots of stuff.  A baby (any baby, it's not my fault) brings in tons of other stuff.  Did you know the average baby gets their diaper changed over 2,000 times in the first year!  Imagine how many diapers, wipes, shorts etc that could be?!?!?! Plus there's all that other stuff, baby wash clothes, baby soap, baby wipe warmers, baby lamps for the baby's room, clothes, shoes, and not to mention baby toys, all those toys!   Lastly, the good friends and family a year ago were buying wedding gifts for mommy and daddy.   Is it really fair to get so much love?  Yes, I say!  

So we are having a party but there are some ground rules:  

1.  It's a celebration of my coming out.

2.  No games!  

3.  Unisex--all are welcomed.

4.  Gifts are appreciated but not needed.  In fact, gifts won't be opened at the party.

5.   Come, mingle, eat, and rub the belly.

To reduce waste it's probably a good idea to talk about gift ideas.  Remember number 4, you don't have to bring a gift.  It won't be opened at the party so no one will know if you didn't bring one.  :)  If you want, mommy has finally registered at Babies R Us for a few items that I need.  You can also bring something used!  The only things mommy and daddy prefer to buy new are the crib, car seat, and the Pack N Play.  Other than that, used is preferred.  Mommy has been gifted 6 large trash bags of baby clothes.  So there's no need to buy NEW clothes.  But we will probably need crib sheets, diapers, baby books, baby toiletries etc.  Mommy didn't' register for those things because they are pretty easy to pick up from anywhere.  Lastly, organic, BPA free, flea and tick free, flame resistant, etc options are probably the best bet.

I hope to see you at the shower on March 28!

Waddle With It

The craziest thing that has happened to mommy is that more men seem to be attracted to her pregnancy body.  

Yes, the "hey girl can I talk to you?" could be a product of the neighborhood.  But she's even had someone say this to her in Georgetown:

Random man: "Excuse me, can I talk to you or get your number and call you"

Mommy: "I'm married and pregnant."

Random man: "I don't care about you being pregnant.  I'll raise another man's child.  But I won't talk to you since you are married.  I wouldn't want someone to do that to my wife."

Yes, that's what he said.  It appears that despite size of her stomach the increase of other body parts seems to be motivating certain people.

Mom decided to write  a song about it.  It's called, "Waddle With it." She is going to get a Dirty South (Atlanta area) producer and have very pregnant women dancing in the background.

Come on pregnant girl Go Head and Waddle With it

You got a big stomach Go Head and Waddle With it

Can't touch your toes

But you can Waddle with It

You wearing maternity clothes

Go head and waddle with it

and so on

The Things People Say!

We have received the general pregnant pleasantries of "When are you do?" "What are you having?"  "Is this your first?"  But people say crazy things to expecting parents.   Here are some things people have said to Mommy and Daddy:

1.  The first person will be named.  Grandma (or whatever name I end up giving Mommy's mom) said (when seeing Mommy for the first time since early December), "You are going to be in soooo much pain!  Oh my God, you are so huge already!"

2.  "You don't look like you are five months."   ((this person thought mommy was more like 3 months))

3.  Several random people have said (after Mommy or Daddy say they are waiting to find out if I am a girl or boy) "But what do you REALLY want to have?"

4.  "Are you sure you are only five months?"  ((this person thought mommy was more like seven months))

5.  A co-worker of Mommy's said, "You must have a weak bladder [when Mommy walked by his desk to go to the bathroom again].  What are you going to do in the last trimester, sit on the toilet all day?"

6.  "You are having a boy because you are all butt and stomach."

7.  "You are having a boy because it's hanging low."

8.  "Your having a girl because you are having an easy pregnancy."

9.  "You look better now since you are pregnant.  Now you don't have the sunken in look."

And more!

5 fingers on two hands; 5 toes on two feet

So far so good.  I had my five month checkup and all is well.  Mommy and Daddy closed their eyes when I opened my legs.  So nobody knows!  I'm now the size of a spaghetti squash and at least 1 pound.  Mommy can feel me moving around better.  At one point I was just a flutter here and a flutter there, but now I feel like a breakdancing, popcorn popping, here and now there, bubble. Once when I was pop-lockin and busting my grove Mommy's badge jumped!  Speaking of Mommy...she has gained anywhere from 20 to 30 pounds depends on whose counting!  She also pees all the time and can't sleep that well at night anymore.  I say, "Four more months go and let's let the party continue!"

Decorate my Room Already!

Mommy and Daddy don't seem to get it.  I'm coming in four months!  Mommy and Daddy have purchase ZERO stuff.  Mommy and Daddy have taken ZERO classes.  Most importantly they haven't started my room.  Baby RadJo room still looks like the cat room mixed with an explosion of beads, scrapbook materials, collectibles, and lumberjack clothes.  Mom has discussed moving Choco-P (the cat) somewhere and moving Dad's winter clothes elsewhere.  Then there's the matter of all of those craft supplies.  The compromise is making the nursery double as a craft room.  Um...Ok I'm cool with Mom hanging out with me all day and then toiling away at crafts while I sleep stopping them as soon as I cry out (I'm hungry, I'm tired, My diapers wet!, It's cold!, It's Hot! I'm Thirsty! I want to be Picked up).  But I still want to make sure there's enough room for me.  All the books say I need a rocker, a crib, a dresser, and somewhere to put all my stuff.  Then there's the place to store all my diapers, clothes, a soft carpet, etc.  

Here are mom's ideas so far:

The Moroccan Souk

Owls in Forests (but not scary owls but happy ones)

Birds, Flowers, and Trees

Butterflies, Fields, and Flowers

Mountains

So yeah no Winnie the Pooh here.  Mom does have a plan.  She says she'll paint a mural and paint all the furniture etc etc.   She's supposed to make the curtains and design something to keep Choco-P out of the crib.

I'm excited but it would be nice to get it going! 

Sushi, tea, chocolate, dogs that eat babies, cats that suffocate babies, oh my!

So some might define mommy has a control freak or someone who worries a lot.  Um...worry...it's not like Mommy worries about terrorism or money issues or who said what about who or any of those matters that most people worry about.  My mommy has complex and educated worries.  Like what if Posa (our dog) gets rock salt on her paws and then brings it in the house and then licks it and then Choco-P (our cat) licks it and then they both get sick and then we can't take them to the doctor because the winter storm.  Or what if Grandma/Glo-mom/Abuela/Nana (name to be determined at a later date) goes to XYZ, forgets her cell phone, gets disoriented, ends up at the wrong place, can't figure out how to get to XYZ or home, and then asks a stranger, who then takes her somewhere unsafe.  So imagine how I have to deal with my situation.  I'm hanging out in mommy's body and every once in a while I hear her muffled voice say, "why isn't it moving?" and she proceeds to poke around my home (her stomach) when I'm trying to rest.  Or when I send signals that I would like something to eat and um...that sushi he is eating looks good.  But then mommy says they say I can't eat sushi.  I can't eat chocolate.  I can't drink tea (real tea, you do know Chamomile and peppermint aren't actually teas...they are tisanes which means hot water and herbs or flowers, while tea is hot water with tea leaves).  I don't mind that she doesn't eat sushi or drink tea.  But I do mind all the consternation that comes with the decision process.  She's researching online and listening to people who say "Millions of Japanese women get pregnant every year and still eat sushi"  and others who say "Why test fate?  Raw fish has the potential to make you very sick and if you get very sick the doctors can't get you anything because it could endanger the baby."  Then there's the girl from work who says, "My sister followed the doctors advice and then her baby came out underweight and now the poor child is the smallest one."  She's also worried about Posa and Choco-P.   Posa likes to jump.  What if Posa jumps on mommy when she is holding me?  Which way should mommy fall?  She's already falling up and down the steps at home without the push from Posa.  What if Choco-P jumps in the crib?  Then there are the other worries like what type of stroller, what type of car seat, what type of breast pump, should they hire a nanny or go to a daycare, should I sleep in the room with mommy and daddy or should I immediately go into the nursery (when will the nursery be finished), blah blah blah.   I've tried to tell mommy to get a grip.  Don't worry.  It's worst to worry about chocolate than eat it.   Posa's not likely to be Damien and push the stroller down the steps.  Choco-P won't jump in the crib if it's covered and the door is closed. Plus she doesn't like loud things and I plan on being loud.  Mommy just needs to take a chill pill.  

People have been picking on me :(

Recently people have been telling mommy she looks smaller than 5 months.  I'm 17 weeks now and about 5 ounces.  I am the size of a turnip!  I think I'm pretty big.  I'm bigger than I was just a few days ago.  Still people feel the need to tell mommy to eat more or exercise less.  She is eating.  That was part of my big plan.  She's gained 20-25 pounds (depends on how much you think clothes weigh) since her last time on stage in August.  She's been following my lead for a while now.  She even gets up in the middle of the night to eat if I say so.  As far as exercising goes sometimes I let her get a work out in here and there but other than walking, she's not doing anything daily.  At least not two workouts a day like before!  Daddy is still working out like he is training for the Olympics.  That's cool for now (whoawhawhahh!  evil laugh to imply that when I'm born Daddy might not be able to do long bike rides on Sat morning)  

Bottom line:  The doctor is happy with my progress.  I eat as much as I want and I am the size I am supposed to be.  The last time I checked turnips were small root vegetables not to be confused with a full term baby!  I've got plenty of time to grow!!!